A Confession for the Coming Trial that will Preserve You from being Spewed from Christ's Mouth:

You must hold to, enter into, and rest in this Confession, just as Noah and his family were held in, brought into, and made to rest in the Ark. "I immediately and without hesitation humble my mind and spirit to the teachings of Martin Luther, Great Gift of the Most High God. This, in part, means that I confess that I have no good intentions and admit my tendency to cover up my sin with my good works and so-called good intentions. I gladly and without reservation spit on and revile my so-called free will, which is anything but free except to do evil: of my own will I can neither add anything to my salvation or its counterpart, sanctification. I wholeheartedly admit that within my innermost being there resides a monk which seeks to be justified in God's sight by my own works and will. I abhor my tendency to make love more important than faith, but now readily confess that faith is based on the truth of the Word of God and from this Truth love comes forth. I thankfully acknowledge that whatever affliction, suffering, and temporal torment I experience, no matter how severe, is deserved by me because of my sin: I thank God that He turns my eternal punishment into temporal punishment through the work of the Babe in the manger--I only ask God for grace to trust in His Promises to me, no matter how angry with me He may seem to be. I condemn all my theological opinions unless they agree with those of Luther and will do my best to have my mind guided by his teachings during whatever time on earth God grants me. I especially confess my abuse of the Lord's Table by not being zealous to look into God's Law so as to more and more fully understand my sin, and my tendency to trust in my own strength and worldly wisdom for spiritual growth, rather than believing that all I need is in the Supper; I am deeply sorry and regretful that I have not come to His Table nearly as hungry as I should have. Rather, I have come already sated by that which fills all my senses. I confess that this Supper contains the True Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, which is the New Testament in His blood, for the forgiveness of my sins. I thank God that only He can keep me in this True Faith and make me to persevere therein until I die or He comes. May God have mercy on my poor soul."